Monday, June 29, 2009

Sore Throats and Heat

My plans have been wrecked! I had yesterday all planned out. Even had an idea of what I was going to write on this blog.

Yesterday was my best friend's one year anniversary to her darling new husband. Happy A!

The 28th is not only a special number for my best friend. It is also the day of my birth, February 28th. It is the day that my now hubby asked me to be his girlfriend, on my 17th birthday. It is the day that he asked me to marry him. And I married him on October 28th, 2005.

So it would make sense to make June 28th my official start up and keeping up with the numbers for my weight loss day.

But as the way of all greatly laid plans....

I am sick! I woke up Saturday morning with a horrendously sore throat. (I think my body was like, "Aww.. her hubby is going to get her up at the crack of dawn to run on Monday. Let's give her a break!") Anyway. So I've been coughing and running a fever and feeling very light headed since Saturday.

Worst of all, our air conditioner is out. Now I don't know if everyone will grasp the horror of this for me. I live in Alabama. It's suppose to be in the 90's with 60% humidity all week. It is just baking inside of our house.

So needless to say, I stayed curled up in my bed this morning. Despite the fact that our fitness plans are definitely on hold until we have some cool air and I am well again, I have some ideas of some blogs for the week.

Btw, I'm happy I don't have a fake audience. Actually seeing names of people commenting motivate me much more than pretending people. Thanks for reading with me so far :)

Saturday, June 27, 2009

I ate pizza today.

I am unworthy to blog. Be back when I'm a good girl again. <3

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Rumblings in Tumblings

My stomach is growling.

An odd statement to lead off with, but it deserves some attention! It was rare that I ever felt this odd sensation of rumblings in my tumblings. Let me just state that I don't know the best ways or the best foods to lose weight. I know that if my tummy is growling in the morning, then I should eat more fiber in my breakfast. (I just really like my cereal!) But you know what I'm figuring out? It's mind boggling really...

It's okay for my stomach to growl.

Really! It is! You hear that tum tum? Your whining is having no effect on these determined ears! Stomach Growlage is not painful. It actually sort of tickles! And if you are easily amused such as me, you get a little giggle out of the odd noises your stomach can make. I guess there is some little voice in my head born out of biology/instinct/whatever that's telling me it's time to eat... but you can chill right along with my grumbling stomach, Mr. You-Must-Eat voice. You'll get food in two hours, when it's lunch time and time for food.

Subject change. I dont think anyone is reading this, or will read it. Maybe it's a good thing. I think I am more open to a fake audience. But doing this journal has really started to help already. The entire time I am typing a post, I am thinking of all the reasons why I've allowed myself to become over weight. I really think I'm working on some issues here, being my own shrink! Or maybe the keyboard is the shrink. Perhaps the monitor... Either way, it's working.

Today, the thoughts swirling around my head like the clothes in a front load washer are about why I haven't often felt my stomach growl. I always seem to figure out a way to have something to snack on no matter where I am. I think that is the biggest point of my failure, I'm a snacker. Even if I am not hungry! I will even snack after I finish a meal! And it's the worst when I am at home alone. Everytime I pass through the kitchen I nibble on something. That's a habit that I've picked up from my Dad. But no more. The cabinets and fridge remain closed until meal time.

Skipping subjects again, Micah and I went on a fairly long walk/jog last night. I say walk/jog because Micah is in moderate shape and I am in horrible shape, so neither of us could jog -that- long. I know we will need to go much longer in the future, but it's a start. We discussed our exercise plan. Somehow, I heard some crazy woman speaking out of my head saying that we should work out before he goes to work, which would mean getting up at 4:45 am to get in an hour workout before he has to shower for work. I don't know who that crazy woman was, but she is a witch. I'd like to slap her. Especially since Micah was all about it. So it may start Monday morning. Maybe. But, I'm only saying maybe because I'm in denial. You can pretty much bet that Micah will be shaking me awake at 4:40 on Monday morning.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

And so it begins.

I guess the very first thing that should be stated... the overwhelming truth that I need to own up to and to put out there is: I have no idea how I got here.

It almost seems like I just woke up one day and I was fat. One day I was slender and sexual, an enticement to the man who has became my husband, then all of a sudden I looked like some kind of mammal that comes from the ocean.

If there are any readers of this blog, I suppose you would appreciate a few background details on me. I am currently 24 years old as I write this. I am 5'3 and a staggeringly heavy 250 - 260 lbs. Somewhere in there. I have not been able to make myself get on a scale in a few months. Any time I do, I obsess over what the number is for weeks. I'm married to a wonderfully handsome (and physically in shape) man named Micah.

When I was 19, I gained nearly 100 lbs. I don't know the exact reasons why. It was probably a mixture of things. I moved out of my parent's house for school, my friends and I constantly ate fast food and pizza, I would stay up all night and sleep all day, and probably the most significant... I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. We'll get more into that some other day, I wont gross you out with those details here when we've first met each other.

So why now start a blog? Well, this week my husband and I decided that our diet habits were no longer acceptable. Sunday, on Father's Day, we spend nearly 2 hours in the grocery store analyzing calories per serving, good fats and bad fats, and which foods had the most vitamins per calories. We are probably not as knowledgeable about this as we need to be. If anyone has any suggestions for healthy diet books I'd love to hear them. I have already ordered Dr Oz's You! On A Diet. But back to this week... My husband has only a small amount of belly fat that he wants to lose. With a new lower calorie diet and cutting out soft drinks, he'll probably lose it all by Friday. Men drive me crazy with how fast they can lose weight.

Every day this week so far, I have been writing down my calorie count for breakfast and lunch, trying to stay under 550 calories total. I think I have been doing okay, though I did indulge a little on a piece of wheat toast with *cringe* grape jelly. I know I can't do that if I want to lose weight, but I'm just getting used to not being able to eat what I want when I want. All joking aside, I feel guilty about the jelly. I can't have anymore slip ups like that. It has to be for real this time. The weight has got to come off so I can be healthy, happy, sexier, and physically ready to start the family that my husband and I want so badly.

This blog will hopefully be my own little weight loss buddy and coach. I'm hoping that some of you that read and comment will be part of that coaching.

I guess we should begin with a picture of fat me from last weekend while we were at the beach:

I don't do pictures of just me, there is nothing interesting about that. To the left of me is my crazy insane super fun brother Jake, and to the right in the black shirt is my wonderful husband Micah. They love me no matter what I look like, but I'd still like to not out weigh them.

We are going to buy a scale this weekend. Eek! Stay tuned for that.

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