And so it begins.

I guess the very first thing that should be stated... the overwhelming truth that I need to own up to and to put out there is: I have no idea how I got here.

It almost seems like I just woke up one day and I was fat. One day I was slender and sexual, an enticement to the man who has became my husband, then all of a sudden I looked like some kind of mammal that comes from the ocean.

If there are any readers of this blog, I suppose you would appreciate a few background details on me. I am currently 24 years old as I write this. I am 5'3 and a staggeringly heavy 250 - 260 lbs. Somewhere in there. I have not been able to make myself get on a scale in a few months. Any time I do, I obsess over what the number is for weeks. I'm married to a wonderfully handsome (and physically in shape) man named Micah.

When I was 19, I gained nearly 100 lbs. I don't know the exact reasons why. It was probably a mixture of things. I moved out of my parent's house for school, my friends and I constantly ate fast food and pizza, I would stay up all night and sleep all day, and probably the most significant... I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. We'll get more into that some other day, I wont gross you out with those details here when we've first met each other.

So why now start a blog? Well, this week my husband and I decided that our diet habits were no longer acceptable. Sunday, on Father's Day, we spend nearly 2 hours in the grocery store analyzing calories per serving, good fats and bad fats, and which foods had the most vitamins per calories. We are probably not as knowledgeable about this as we need to be. If anyone has any suggestions for healthy diet books I'd love to hear them. I have already ordered Dr Oz's You! On A Diet. But back to this week... My husband has only a small amount of belly fat that he wants to lose. With a new lower calorie diet and cutting out soft drinks, he'll probably lose it all by Friday. Men drive me crazy with how fast they can lose weight.

Every day this week so far, I have been writing down my calorie count for breakfast and lunch, trying to stay under 550 calories total. I think I have been doing okay, though I did indulge a little on a piece of wheat toast with *cringe* grape jelly. I know I can't do that if I want to lose weight, but I'm just getting used to not being able to eat what I want when I want. All joking aside, I feel guilty about the jelly. I can't have anymore slip ups like that. It has to be for real this time. The weight has got to come off so I can be healthy, happy, sexier, and physically ready to start the family that my husband and I want so badly.

This blog will hopefully be my own little weight loss buddy and coach. I'm hoping that some of you that read and comment will be part of that coaching.

I guess we should begin with a picture of fat me from last weekend while we were at the beach:



I don't do pictures of just me, there is nothing interesting about that. To the left of me is my crazy insane super fun brother Jake, and to the right in the black shirt is my wonderful husband Micah. They love me no matter what I look like, but I'd still like to not out weigh them.

We are going to buy a scale this weekend. Eek! Stay tuned for that.